Will Someone PLEASE Kick Me In the A$$?
I’m normally a pretty upbeat person. I do deal with depression, but I’m a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kinda girl. And I haven’t had a real bout of depression in quite some time. Until today.
I know that part of my issue is steming from the smoking thing. Okay, a big part. I’m trying to quit, and I really want to quit. But a part of me is holding back. I’m not really enjoying the ones I smoke, so why do I continue to do it? Because even though I knew IT would happen, even though I told myself I could deal with IT, I wasn’t really prepared for the side effects that quitting smoking would bring about.
What is IT you ask? Mindless eating. Eating instead of smoking. For the most part, my snack attacks have been the healthier variety. But this past weekend, I totally fell off the wagon. I don’t take cheat days, because I have issues with getting back on plan. Even though my healthy food taste better than the high fat variety I indulge in on a cheat day, once I cheat it’s like I can’t stop myself. I decided to have a cheat day Friday that wound up being an entire cheat weekend.
Well guess what? I jumped on the scales this moring and I have gained 4 lbs. SINCE FRIDAY!!!!!! Please don’t tell me it is probably water, although some of it may be. I made poor food choices; I over ate; I snacked mindlessly; and I didn’t workout at all. I did this to myself.
And I’m not dealing with this very well. I lost it tonight. My poor hubby held me once again as I sobbed uncontrollably into his shirt. I have worked too damn hard to lose what little weight I have to gain it back! I don’t know if I can lose weight and quit smoking at the same time! I know other people do it, but I don’t know if I can do it.
I feel so stressed. I’m a bitch to everyone around me. Even though I know I’m just being a bitch, I can’t seem to stop myself. I want to eat everything I can get my hands on. I have tried gum, suckers, hard candy. I wind up putting off eating, but eventually I eat. I have used nicotine lozenges and the patch and have to say they have really helped with the physical part, but the emotional part is still there. And to be honest, that’s the really hard part.
I want so badly to lose this weight. I don’t want to be so overweight that my knees hurt and I feel miserable. I want to buy clothing that looks good on me. I want to be able to play with my daughter without being exhausted after a few minutes. I’m in tears again as I type this. And I know you guys understand what I’m talking about.
I know this weight is not going to fall off of me. I understand the math behind it. I respect that totally. I know it’s a journey that is many miles long. I’m prepared for that long journey. But why does it have to come back so easy? Yes, I screwed up. But why do I have to work 2-3 weeks to lose 4 lbs just to gain it back it 3 days?
We bought a second hand treadmill this weekend to replace my old dinosaur that died. Guess what? I’m to fat for it!! Seriously, the weight limit is suppose to be 250, but it barely crawls if I try to walk on it. My 100 lb daughter can walk on it just fine. Hubby contacted the lady and you know what she said, “Sorry, but it worked when you left with it.” My hubby explained to her that yes it did work, but I couldn’t use it because of my weight which is why I wanted it and she could probably sell it to someone smaller. But she just said, “I can’t help you. You bought a used treadmill.” Of course, when she was trying to make the sell she “only used it like 10 times ever.” Now that something is wrong with it, it’s a used treadmill.
I need some help guys. I need someone to help me design an exercise program that I can do at home. I don’t have the option of going to a gym and I really don’t know what to do. I just sorta do what I feel like doing, and that’s not working because if I don’t “feel” like doing anything, I don’t. If anyone is willing to help me out, please comment or message me.
My dad quit. sucking on sugarfree candies and chewing gum got him through the first few months till it got easier
Best wishes:)
Its kind of cheesy, but ever consider Tae-bo? I think the key is to just get you moving with an end in site and to continously change up vs. the montonony a treadmill workout can bring. The beginners DVD is only 20 minutes long and definitely gets your heart rate up. The bootcamp 3 DVD set is on ebay for around $30. I bought it to do as an evening workout after my son is asleep.
I certainly understand how it is when you don’t plan the workout in advanced. I have aimlessly wandered around a fully equipped gym without a plan and the result is always an ineffective lackluster workout, so you have to know exactly what you are going to do before you start. Try Tae-bo for a couple of weeks straight and you will definitely see results if you are eating right.
Good Luck!
I know exactly how you feel. I tried to change my eating habbits and get healthy all at once a few months ago, and I found it impossible. I continue to smoke for now, and I am focusing all my energy on eating properly. I am hoping that when I do begin to quit again, I will have more will power to stick to it than when I had in the past. I figure in my head I would rahter lose the weight now, and quit smoking later. Both are health factors, so it is silly to choose, I know, but maybe you should stick to one goal at a time. Only concentrate on not smoking…or only concentrate on losing weight. Good luck. Hope it all works out. You can do it, so don’t get discouraged.
Cant offer any advice on an exercise plan. And I used to smoke…long ago. Yes, one of the biggest things I remember when I quit was what to do when I would normally light up…it felt un-natural. I know its hard. You are just going to have to keep fighting for it if you really want it. Keep blogging and crying in hubby’s arms to get through…just dont stop fighting.
HUGS HUGS HUGS to you!
I’m glad you are reching out for help. BTW, 4 lbs - that’s water girl!
In terms of a work out routine I suggest doing 5 days of cardio with 2 days of weights in there until you can do 3 and some yoga.
You know hon - why not just start of with plain old walking for now? That’s how I lost 40 lbs - no gym just walking around my neighborhood.
Then get some dvd’s for weights - I’m sure there’s a bunch of good ones out there and you have to get a yoga dvd!!!!
I agree with Nancy, start with walking. Your daughter can do it with you! I am so sorry you are struggling and feeling down. For now why dont you focus on cutting down on smoking rather than saying you have to stop cold turkey? Smoke one less tomorrow than you did today. Just like weightloss, try baby steps with stopping smoking. I know you can DO it. I am glad you came on here and blogged it out. I hope you feel better. It will get easier. AND you did not gain 4 pounds this weekend. Drink lots of wtaer and flush it out and you will be back to normal
Hey noone said quitting smoking and bad eating habits at once was gonna be easy! Your still doing great! Remember this is a process that takes time, and although you might struggle for one day, that is just one little day in the entire scheme of things! Years from now you will look back, giggle and say “Yeah I remember that one spring I quit smoking and bad eating habits at once” and your family will chime in “So do we!”
Keep your chin up girlie, your doing a great job!
~Renee’
I agree with what what a few people said regarding the smoking…I think you might need to give yourself permission to focuse on just one goal at a time for now. I really like Beckys idea…baby steps, just start cutting back on the cigs. I am not saying it can not be done-loosing wieght & stopping the smokes at the same time-I just know those are two serious tasks to take on at the same time. You are doing great Leona, so don’t be to hard on yourself…really work on getting your daily water intake in and those 4#’s will be history!
Hang in there. *will be thinking about you!
Oh man. We could be sisters, you and me. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts and stresses! Okay, regarding exercise, I can relate because I work out from home as well. We quit the gym because it was too expensive so we have a treadmill, some hand weights, a bench, an exercise ball, and some stretch bands. If your treadmill sucks, then walk outside if the weather permits. When I get my lazy butt outside, I try to put in at least 20 minutes of medium speed walking. Just try to make sure you are walking fast enough where you are a little winded when you talk. Weights are important to boost your metabolism so I can message you some good hand weight exercises you can do at home to get you started. The more toned your muscles are, the more calories you burn at rest (in other words, it increases your metabolism). I had hit a stalemate recently with my weight loss, so I began walking every day, even if for only 15 minutes. I dropped an extra pound that week just from doing that little bit extra. The bottom line is do what you can - don’t push it and do what you know you’ll stick to. Finally, regarding smoking, try focusing on one at a time. If you want to drop the weight first, then focus on that. If you can, cut back on the cigarettes, but not all the way until you think you can do both. Don’t beat yourself up too much - you are like me in that you are defeating yourself by feeling guilty. I know that feeling all too well — hang in there my friend!
(((HUGS)))
I feel your pain truly I do. Living your life almost. I am just walking right now. I needed a starting point and (for me) that was the easiest place to start and it was something I knew how to do. At work, I normally smoke on my breaks, but have started (in November) walking on my breaks. Yeah, I still light the cigarette and smoke a little of it, but not like sitting down and chain smoking two. Try smoking when you are pushing a mile in 15 minutes - not easy.
Another thought on the exercise - check your library. Ours has VHS and DVD’s to borrow (no cost unless they’re over due.) I’ve found this helpful to try different types of exercise. Once I find one I really like, then I buy it, but I am not wasting money on DVD’s that I try once and hate so much I never view them again.
Hang in there.
I don’t know that I can offer any help. I’ve never been a smoker. But I do deal with depression and mindless, emotional eating. My new food journal has helped me greatly. Every hour (or whenever I am conscience of it) I write down what I am craving. Fresh air, quiet, water, food, exercise, friendship. There are about fourteen things, I have discovered, that I need. I used to eat for all of these cravings, now I don’t. It is becoming easier and I am happier because I am getting the things that I need.